When work eats the marriage: how to get the time back
Getting our time back
Fourteen days so the relationship stops being last on the list.
14 days · 10 minutes a day · done together
Quick answer
Getting our time back is a 14-day journey of about 10 minutes a day to work together on one concrete area: work and marriage. Each day brings a short reflection, a guided conversation and a small practice. You start it when you need it, each at your own pace, and whoever starts it can invite their spouse to walk it together.
Who this journey is for
- You only cross paths to coordinate things and to sleep.
- Couple plans are always the first thing cancelled.
- Work fills all available space, at home too.
If none of this sounds like you, another journey probably fits better. The free assessment points to it in five minutes.
What you will learn
- To measure the real time you spend talking about something other than logistics.
- To protect short slots that actually happen.
- To give work a physical boundary inside the house.
- To tell exhaustion apart from disconnection.
What each day looks like
A short reading
About what is happening, without blaming either of you.
A guided conversation
One concrete question, with a way of asking it that does not end in a fight.
A practice
Something small to do that same day. This is the part that changes something.
At your pace, and together if you want
Each of you marks your own days. If you invite your spouse, you both see each other’s progress.
The daily content of each journey is written by the 3CORD pastoral team.
This is day 1
Last on the list
Recognize where the relationship ended up among all your commitments. · Luke 10:38-42
When Jesus visited the home of Martha and Mary, Martha was busy with all the preparations, while Mary sat at Jesus' feet listening to Him. Martha, overwhelmed, asked Jesus to tell her sister to help her. Jesus answered tenderly that she was worried and upset about many things, but only one was necessary, and Mary had chosen the better part.
Martha wasn't doing anything wrong. Serving was good. But amid so much doing, she was missing what mattered most: being with Jesus.
Something similar happens in many marriages. Both are busy with good things: working, raising kids, serving at church, keeping the house. But amid so much doing, they lose each other. The relationship gets left for later, for when there's time. And that time never comes.
Today you won't change anything yet. You'll just look honestly at where your relationship ended up in your real list of priorities, not the ones you say you have, but the ones your schedule shows.
To practice today
- Each of you list the five things that take up most of your week.
- Compare the lists and ask: where does our relationship appear?
- Each of you say in one sentence how you feel about that place.
To talk about
- When was the last time we had time just for us, without talking about to-dos?
- What good thing is taking the place of the better one?
- What do you miss from when we had more time together?
To pray
Lord, like Martha, we're worried and upset about many things. Help us choose the better part: being with You and being with each other. Order our priorities. Amen.
Scripture is given by reference and paraphrased. Days 2 to 14 continue in the app, with Premium.
Frequently asked questions
How long is the Getting our time back journey?
14 days, at about 10 minutes a day. You can pause and pick it up again: progress counts completed days, not calendar days, so a break does not force you to start over.
Do we both have to do it at the same time?
No. Each of you keeps your own progress and can open whichever day you need. Whoever starts the journey can invite their spouse from the app; if they join, each sees the days the other has done. And if your spouse is not ready yet, you can walk it alone.
Do I need to pay to start?
No. Day 1 of every journey is always free. To keep going, the app has a 7-day free trial with no card, and if one spouse subscribes, the other has access too.
What if halfway through we realize we need professional help?
That is a good sign, not a failure of the journey. These journeys accompany and practice; they do not replace counseling or therapy. The healthy move is to do both.
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3CORD offers faith-based support and educational content. It is not therapy, clinical counseling, or medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.