Infidelity: what to do next and how trust is rebuilt
Rebuilding trust
Forty days for the season after a betrayal, done together.
40 days · 15 minutes a day · done together
Quick answer
Rebuilding trust is a 40-day journey of about 15 minutes a day to work together on one concrete area: infidelity. Each day brings a short reflection, a guided conversation and a small practice. You start it when you need it, each at your own pace, and whoever starts it can invite their spouse to walk it together.
Who this journey is for
- There was an affair or a major lie and you decided to try.
- Contact with the third person has already ended.
- You are being supported by a counselor or therapist.
If none of this sounds like you, another journey probably fits better. The free assessment points to it in five minutes.
What you will learn
- Which conditions make rebuilding possible and which block it.
- How to sustain transparency without it becoming permanent surveillance.
- How to answer repeated questions without irritation.
- How to tell a setback apart from the normal grieving process.
What each day looks like
A short reading
About what is happening, without blaming either of you.
A guided conversation
One concrete question, with a way of asking it that does not end in a fight.
A practice
Something small to do that same day. This is the part that changes something.
At your pace, and together if you want
Each of you marks your own days. If you invite your spouse, you both see each other’s progress.
The daily content of each journey is written by the 3CORD pastoral team.
This is day 1
A door of hope
Acknowledge where you are and decide to walk this process together. · Hosea 2:14-15
The book of Hosea tells the story of a prophet whose wife was unfaithful, and uses it as an image of God's love for a people who betrayed Him. In the middle of that painful story, God promises to lead His people into the wilderness, speak tenderly to their heart and turn the valley of Achor —a name meaning "trouble"— into a door of hope.
You're in the valley of trouble. A betrayal broke trust and everything seems uncertain. The hurt spouse may not know whether they can trust again. The one who betrayed may fear there's no way back. It's normal to feel the future is clouded.
But the fact that you're here says something important: you decided to try. It isn't a decision that everything is fine, but to walk a road. And that road can pass through the valley and reach a door of hope.
Today you don't have to solve anything. Just acknowledge where you are, honestly, and say out loud that you want to try, each from your own place.
To practice today
- Each of you say in one sentence how you feel today, starting with "I feel…"
- Each of you say out loud: "I want to try this road," or, if you can't say that yet, "I'm willing to walk these days and see."
- Agree on a fixed time and place each day to do the journey, in a calm setting with no children present.
To talk about
- What made you decide to try?
- What scares you most about this road?
- What do you need from me in these first days?
To pray
Lord, we're in the valley of trouble. Speak tenderly to our hearts. Turn this valley into a door of hope. Give us strength for each step and don't leave us alone. Amen.
Scripture is given by reference and paraphrased. Days 2 to 40 continue in the app, with Premium.
Frequently asked questions
How long is the Rebuilding trust journey?
40 days, at about 15 minutes a day. You can pause and pick it up again: progress counts completed days, not calendar days, so a break does not force you to start over.
Do we both have to do it at the same time?
No. Each of you keeps your own progress and can open whichever day you need. Whoever starts the journey can invite their spouse from the app; if they join, each sees the days the other has done. And if your spouse is not ready yet, you can walk it alone.
Do I need to pay to start?
No. Day 1 of every journey is always free. To keep going, the app has a 7-day free trial with no card, and if one spouse subscribes, the other has access too.
What if halfway through we realize we need professional help?
That is a good sign, not a failure of the journey. These journeys accompany and practice; they do not replace counseling or therapy. The healthy move is to do both.
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3CORD offers faith-based support and educational content. It is not therapy, clinical counseling, or medical, psychological, legal or financial advice.